
It’s The Year of The Wedding here at The House of Hum. Future Daughter-In-Law (FDIL) will become Daughter-In-Law (DIL). It won’t happen until the fall, but I know now that these things take months to plan. Why don’t I remember that…
Anyway, I’ve got responsibilities. And while I’m not a top-of-the-marquee cast member, I’m definitely one of the supporting cast. I’ll be suited up, sober, and paternal.
Maybe.
None of that is usually in my wheelhouse. But who knows, I also like to be unpredictable.
COVID and other circumstances led to Older Son and FDIL living here with She and I for awhile after college (they’ve since moved into a lovely apartment on the river in St. Paul, about 14 miles from here). Having them here was perfect actually, as it gave FDIL and She and I a chance to really get to know one another.
She’s alright.
I’m kidding. She’s great. They’re great together. I love that she really knows him, good stuff and otherwise, and really wants to marry him. Her eyes are wide open, as are his. They’re all in, realistic and hopeful. I’m proud of them for that.
His brother is the Best Man, and I can’t wait to hear that speech. I think. Or maybe I’m afraid. I can’t tell. Probably both.
I’m definitely, intensely aware that I too will be expected to say a few words. I’m a terrible, terrible public speaker. Oh my god, so, so bad. I’m twitchy and unfocused. Typically I forget the point of a sentence before I get to the end of the same sentence. I sweat out water I know I’ve not drunk. I think my skin absorbs water from the atmosphere just so it can pump it out of my pores at an alarming rate. My skin is as clammy as my mouth is arid. My hand gestures are not tethered to the pace, tone, or content of my words. And worst of all, as soon as I hear the sound of my voice and the words I’m saying, my brain says, “Good lord dude, I can’t be part of this”, and bails. I’m here at my dining room table writing this, with nine months to go, and I’m sweating already. This is going to be…awesome.
But I think I’ve got a plan. It’s more of a plan B because I don’t really know how to get my hands on a breathtakingly large supply of Quaaludes. So I’ll go with this other idea. I’d love to tell you about it, but I don’t have enough wood in this house to knock upon in the hopes of fending off disaster.
*breathe in, breathe out…
Let’s go Team Wedding!



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